ESSAY-CORRECTION-IELTS-Christina:-)

Essay Corrections available at http://www.ieltswritingtask.net/ https://www.facebook.com/IeltsWritingTask-205577652822039/ https://www.youtube.com/c/ieltsessaycorrection Here my essays. Also I would like to get 8 more.
I really da problems with task 1 the process so maybe do you have few tips about it?
Also do you think I am very far from a 7.5 band in writing?

Thanks a lot

Cristina

Task 1
The flowchart describes the necessary steps in the production of five different tea types: white, green ,oolong, black and scented tea.

Four out of five tea types (excluded scented tea) have in common the first step of the process : sorting and cleaning the tea leaves. White tea production has the simplest process, leaves are steamed, dried and then the tea is ready to be commercialised. Conversely, green, oolong and black tea second stages involves withering. Green tea involves steaming and rolling before the final product is complete, while oolong and black tea require additional steps. A unique feature in the process of making scented tea is the addition of fruit and flower scents, after the tea leaves underwent a desiccation process.

Overall the majority of tea varieties have a common first stage while scented tea has a distinctive manufacturing process. White tea production is the simplest, whereas oolong tea is the most elaborated and time consuming.

Task 2

Currently it is more and more common for national governments to incentivize the delocalization of corporations from urban areas to regional areas. This essay will consider and examine both the advantages and the disadvantages that this policy may create.

On one hand, there are multiple benefits in moving companies outside large urban agglomerates: production, manpower and living cost would be significantly reduced . Additionally, there will be an expansion in the local job market reversing the widespread unemployment rate that affects the non urban areas. For instance, a study produced by the National Labour Association in 2015 in Germany has shown that delocalised companies such Adidas have reduced the unemployment rates by 15% in the whole county. Consequently, working outside major cities has several benefits including labour market expansion.

Conversely, employees may have to commute for longer time or visit their families only during weekends. This may affect their mental health due to an augmented number of working hours and an increased sense of isolation from their families. Research conducted by the Occupational Health Department of the Mater Dei Hospital of Toronto, has demonstrated that workers living away from their families are more prone to suffer from depression, dysthymia and to commit suicide. Therefore, commuting or living away from the family increases the risk of mental health pathologies.

To conclude, there are undoubtedly several advantages in delocalisation companies to more secluded areas but this policy may profoundly impact the emotional and social life of their employees.

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